Lampstand

Lampstand is a bot written for #maelfroth by Nicholas ‘Aquarion’ Avenell, who can be reached at nicholas at aquarionics dot com. It basically does stuff Aquarion thinks is cool, or that people have suggested. A synergy of both is more likely to happen than the latter, to be honest.

These are (most of) the things it does:

Hug Reaction

/me hugs Lampstand

10:52 * Aquarion hugs Lampstand
10:52 * Lampstand gives Aquarion chocolate

/msg Lampstand give me toast
/me hugs Lampstand

10:54 * Aquarion hugs Lampstand
10:54 * Lampstand gives Aquarion toast

Whowas Reaction

Hello!

10:54 [Aquarion] Hello!
Lampstand: Have you seen Aquarion?

10:54 [Aquarion] Lampstand: Have you seen Aquarion?
10:54 [Lampstand] I last saw Aquarion on Sat, 08 March 08 at 10:54 saying Hello!

Dice Reaction

Lampstand: Roll 4d6+12

11:00 [Aquarion] Lampstand: Roll 4d6+12
11:00 [Lampstand] Aquarion, You rolled 4d6, you got [3, 1, 6, 4] +12 = 26

Lampstand: Roll lowest4 6d6+12

11:00 [Aquarion] Lampstand: Roll lowest4 6d6+12
11:00 [Lampstand] Aquarion, You rolled [ 3, 4, 6, 4, 6, 5 ], kept [ 3, 4, 4, 5 ] Total 16 +12 = 28

(the “lowest4” keyword there can be “lowest” and then any number to catch the bottom set, “best” and then a number to get the top set, and can also be prefixed with “open” to get open-ended dice rolls. Feel free to ask ccooke what this means, as he wrote the code for it)

Insult Reaction

Lampstand: insult FailWemic

11:02 [Aquarion] Lampstand: insult FailWemic
11:02 [Lampstand] FailWemic, Thou clouted fool-born codpiece!

Bible Reaction

Lampstand: Rev 2:5

21:52 [Lampstand] Aquarion, Revelation 2:5 [5]Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent. [ESV]

Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Text provided by the Crossway Bibles Web Service.

Dictionary Reaction

Lampstand: define tea

09:48 [Lampstand] Tea Tea (t[=e]), n. [Chin. tsh[=a], Prov. Chin. te: cf. F. th[‘e].] 1. The prepared leaves of a shrub, or small tree ({Thea Chinensis} or {Camellia Chinensis}). The shrub is a native of China, but has been introduced to some extent into some other countries. [1913 Webster] Note: Teas are classed as green or black, according to their color or appearance, the kinds being distinguished also by various other characteristic differences,…
09:48 [Lampstand] … as of taste, odor, and the like. The color, flavor, and quality are dependent upon the treatment which the leaves receive after being gathered. The leaves for green tea are heated, or roasted slightly, in shallow pans over a wood fire, almost immediately after being gathered, after which they are rolled with the hands upon a table, to free them from a portion of their moisture, and to twist them, and are then quickly [Cut for length]

Eight Ball

Lampstand: Ask the 8-ball: Should I document Lampstand fully?
[Lampstand] All signs point to yes.

How long

Lampstand: How long until Event I?
[Lampstand] Event I is in 2 days, 2 hours, 9 minutes

You can also ask Lampstand when something is:

Lampstand: When is until Event I?
[Lampstand] Event I starts Friday 21st March 2008 at 18:00

(This also works in /query, you don’t need to prefix it with Lampstand: though. You can find a list of events Lampstand knows about at Maelfroth.org/events, which includes a iCal export for your favourite calendar system. New events should be submitted to aquarion at maelfroth dot org)

Choose

Lampstand: choose Toast, jam or sandwiches?
[Lampstand] Jam

(You are advised not to ask Lampstand “Cake or death”. Results may be unpredicatable).

(This is now requires the “choose” in order that I can recognise choose requests as distinct from other times you might want to use the word “or”)

Boxes

Lampstand: Open the box

[Lampstand] (describes what it finds)

(The boxes come from SJGames’ Warehouse 23 basement)

Items

Lampstand has an inventory. You can give him things like this:

/me gives Lampstand pancakes
[Lampstand] Taken “pancakes”

And get him to drop things like this:

Lampstand: Drop pancakes
[Lampstand] Dropped “pancakes”

You could also try:

Lampstand: Attack $personsname

and

Lampstand: Do science

What Is

Lampstand: Define the world as a place where we live
[Lampstand] If you say so.

Lampstand: What is the world?
[Lampstand] A place where we live

Weblinks

Lampstand watches for people mentioning links on channel, which then get archived at Maelfroth.org/Links

Generic Reactions

Lampstand reacts to some things I think are funny. Try “Open the pod bay doors” or “What is best in life”. There are more.