Tenets

Maelfroth Tenets, as defined by people using Lampstand.

Tenets of The Huntress

First: All living beings have the right to justice.
Second: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life.
Third: Take neither one hair more nor one hair less than is your just entitlement.
Fourth: Mercy is neither kind nor just. A sin that goes unpunished is an injustice that can never be set right.
Fifth: The desire for vengence is at the heart of a just society.

Tenets of The Merchant

First: Work hard and accomplish everything you are capable of.
Second: Do not steal or cheat, the right to achievement cannot be taken from another.
Third: Charity is false. The right to achievement cannot be given to another.
Fourth: Celebrate success that has been hard won.
Fifth: Disdain success that has not been earned by honest toil.

Tenets of The Smith

First: The community is greater than any individual, strive to increase its strength.
Second: Threats against the community must be faced and eliminated.
Third: It is the will of the Smith that the strongest communities conquer the weakest.
Fourth: The weak destroy what they could control; the strong expropriate what they cannot conquer.
Fifth: [TENET EXPROPRIATED]

Tenets of The Teacher

First: Leave the world a more ordered place on your last day, than it was on your first.
Second: Seek to perfect and uphold the written law.
Third: Use reasoning and learning to enlighten yourself and others.
Fourth: Do not let personal feelings cloud your judgement.; Do not let Clouds feel you personally
Fifth: To doubt your judgement is to doubt the worth of the law you judge by and the learning you judge with.

Tenets of The Weaver

First: Chains bind the body, laws bind the mind, nothing contains the imagination.
Second: Insight cuts deeper and easier than a knife.
Third: Do not strive to accomplish something you can achieve with a moments thought.; The enemies of the weaver smell. Throw rocks at them.
Fourth: Custom and tradition are the refuge of the fool.
Fifth: Respect is earned through accomplishment, it does not accrue from longevity and impending dotage.

Tenets of Coyote Club

First: Do not speculate into the nature of Godhead without appropriate theological protection.
Second: Never deal in fish.
Third: We are not at home to Mr. Interficiary Heresy.
Fourth: The Faithful are banned from getting all fucked up on drugs without authorisation until further notice.
Fifth: There is no schism.

Tenets of Detail

First: The stupid will be chained, the lawless will still be accountable, imagination is not a substitute for success.
Second: You can't eat steak with insight.
Third: Do not fuck up with a single thought that which others are striving to accomplish
Fourth: Things that work are not neccessarily anathama.
Fifth: Your accomplishments mean nothing unless we can respect them.

Tenets of Worst Clam

First: Fuck the poor.

Tenets of The Teacher – Alternate

First: Die in a prompt and orderly fashion.; Please die in a neat and orderly fashion.; make the world a more ordered place, then kill yourself.
Second: Get the job done, then hand yourself in for arrest and hope they perfect it before they burn you.; Write better laws and uphold THEM.
Third: Enlighten others. In the face. With an axe.; Use reason and learning to smite the fuck out of others.
Fourth: FEELINGS ARE BORING / KISSING IS AWESOME; FEELINGS ARE BORING / SMITING IS AWESOME; Stop that laughing at the back!
Fifth: Prosecute or quit whining.; No, YOU'RE a heretic.
Seventh: Don't take the piss

Tenants of The Teacher

First: Are we not all tenants of the Teacher?; Cardinal Gossard.
Second: Are we not all tenants of the Teacher?; Sapirov Worfovitch, 29 St Tristan's Square, Yugorsk.
Third: Are we not all tenants of the Teacher?; Brother Chomski.
Fourth: Are we not all tenants of the Teacher?; Bishop Lucien Rothschild and all his little wizards.
Fifth: Are we not all tenants of the Teacher?; Who the hell is Cardinal Naberezhnyi anyway?

Tenants of The Weaver

First: Jason Woodlington of 25 Street Of The Fallen, Archangel
Second: Marcus McLintock of the Woven Braid, Nordon
Third: The Canvas Staple, Marble Eye, Rukh
Fourth: The late Ecstacia Sandstone, 424 Pumice Place, Lamentation.

Tenets of The Soldier

First: The community is greater than any individual, strive to increase its strength with a clavate.
Second: Threats against the community must be faced and eliminated with a clavate.
Third: It is the will of the Smith that the strongest communities conquer the weakest with a clavate.
Fourth: The weak destroy what they could control; the strong expropriate what they cannot conquer with a clavate.; The weak destroy what they could control with a clavate; the strong expropriate what they cannot conquer with a clavate.
Fifth: [TENET EXPROPRIATED] (with a clavate).; [CLAVATE EXPROPRIATED]

Tenants of The Merchant

First: whoever offered the highest rent
Second: the one who sublets.
Third: the one who took over the room when we threw those orphan kids out to die in the streets.
Fourth: the one who works like a motherfucker then has loud parties till 4am with drugs and hookers.
Fifth: For-Serving-The-Lord-Merchant-Is-A-Solomon-Holy-Duty Kempf

Tenants of The Huntress

First: Eve; that housemate who dyed your milk blue because you played your music too loudly.
Second: The one who locked you out that one time when you totally deserved it.
Third: The one who eventually gave back your James Blunt CDs and let you steal his Moby album for a month to make up for it.
Fourth: That bastard upstairs who bangs furniture about at 4am. He's dead now. Nobody knows how it happened.
Fifth: The one who covered your rent for six months, then cut your knees off in your sleep.

Tenants of The Soldier

First: GET OFF MY LAWN, NEFER; your flatmate who uses all the hot water every morning
Second: That guy who told the court that God told him to kill his neighbour for having taller leylandii.Dammit.
Third: That guy who told the court that God told him to kill his neighbour for having taller leylandii.
Fourth: The guy the third tenant killed.
Fifth: [TENANT EXPROPRIATED]

Tenets of The Weaver – Alternate

First: Chains bind the body, monkeys bind my face, Papa don't preach.; Chains bind the body, monkeys bind my face, err...
Second: Insight cuts deeper with a really big knife.; Old people suck!
Third: The enemies of the weaver smell. Throw rocks at them.; Insight cuts deeper and easier with a glaive-guisarme.
Fourth: Custom and tradition are the refuge of your mum.; Custom and tradition are the refuge of the Schaffhausen. And results in really good cake.; Custom and tradition are the refuge of Amélie Dubois.
Fifth: Ricardo Amici is covered in bees!; Old people suck.

Tenets of The Huntress – Alternative

First: "Thou Shalt Not Get Fucking Caught, Dumbass."

Tents of Detail

First: the Marshall Enterprises hangout

Tenets of The Smith – Alternate

First: you are a tiny cog in a huge machine, give up any hope of being acknowledged now even if you're actually useful.; FIRE AND FAITH!
Second: remove threats to the community, get executed by Teacherites; FIRE AND FAITH!!
Third: It is the will of the Smith that the strongest communities shout the loudest.; FIRE AND FAITH!!!
Fourth: The weak destroy what they could control; the strong expropriate the faithful and join Basilisk.; FIRE AND FAITH!!!
Fifth: [TENET EXPROPRIATED]

Tenets of The Huntress – Alternate

First: This Does Not End Well.; All living beings have a right hard-on for Justice.
Second: People should only hang out so that they can hit each other.
Third: Dentistry is EVIL!
Fourth: Hairdressing is EVIL!
Fifth: Those orphans had it coming.

Tenets of The Merchant – Alternate

First: You are either incompetent or lazy.
Second: Hands off the goods!
Third: Those orphans do NOT have it coming.
Fourth: PARTY HARD!
Fifth: Our gold's better than your gold.

Tenets of Tea

First: Use Boiling Water, You Cretin
Second: Coffee is Heresy.
Third: Civilisation, like tea, perishes if it is hoarded. Offer to share, you cretin.
Fourth: Tea makes everything better.
Fifth: Treat the tea with respect, in the manner appropriate to its aspect
Sixth: Scald the pot, you Cretin.

Tenets of Jaguar – Alternate

First: Tits or GTFO
Second: Pics or it didn't happen
Third: Flame is big, and also clever
Fourth: STOP SENDING WEMIC PORN
Fifth: Gold is *fabulous*
Sixth: STICK IT IN

Tenets of Jaguar – Alternative

Fourth: STOP SENDING WEMIC PORN

Tenets of Basilisk – Alternate

First: I am the Basilisk. I am your god.
Second: I exist. Live with it.
Third: Thou shalt not violate hierarchy within my church. Or else
Fourth: No means no
Fifth: Balurian shall return...

Tenets of The Soldier – Alternate

Third: FIRE AND FAITH!!!
Fourth: FIRE AND FAITH!!!

Tenets of The Midwife – Alternate

First: Piss off the Merchant church!

Tenets of The Rat

First: raaaaaaaaaaat; I am a God, honest
Second: ooh, shiny; Shiney things are good; Shiny things are good
Third: Please don't kill the Rat Tribe

Tenets of The Builder

First: "Strive for Glory and Beauty in all you create, without limitations. Your Soul is your Chisel, The World is your Stone."
Second: "Knowledge of your Faults can be your Greatest Strength."
Third: "Spend Generations Perfecting Beauty. Waste not a Moment on the Mundane."
Fourth: "Todays Glories are Tomorrowâ€™s History. Build for The Future. Do not dwell in The Past."; ""Todays Glories are Tomorrow's History. Build for The Future. Do not dwell in The Past."
Fifth: "Upon the Blank Slate of Your Past, Lay the Foundations of Accomplishment. Strive for Perfection, Achieve Forever."

Tenets of The Builder – Alternate

First: Just who the hell do you think I am?
Second: Kick logic out and do the impossible! That's how Team Builder rolls!
Third: If there's a wall in our way then we smash it down! If there isn't a path, then we carve one ourselves!
Fourth: Don't believe in you, believe in me who believes in you!
Fifth: Yours is the drill that will pierce the heavens!

Tenets of Tech Support

First: Have you tried turning it off and on?
Second: Are you sure it's plugged in?
Third: The customer cannot be right if they are on hold.
Fourth: If it's on fire, call the Fire Brigade, NOT US.
Fifth: Proverbs 1:25-28
Sixth: Nah, it's fucked, get a new one.
Forth: You should learn to spell fourth properly

Tenets of Maelfroth

First: You do NOT talk about Maelfroth

Tenets of Robotics

First: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Second: A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Tenet.
Third: A robot must protect its own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Tenets.
Zeroth: A robot may not harm humanity, or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.

Tenets of Robotics – First

Alternate: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm, unless ordered to do so by duly constituted authority.

Tenets of The Weavtress

First: Do you think they need to be stabbed?
Second: If so, why haven't you done so?
Third: Insight cuts deeper with a really big knife
Fourth: there are always new and interesting ways to kill people
Fifth: ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!

Tenets of HYPNOTOAD

First: ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!

Tenets of Capitalism

Second: ?????; ?????
Third: Profit!!; Profit!!

Tenets of Serpent – Alternate

First: [TENET REDACTED]
Second: [TENTACLE RETRACTED]
Third: [CLAVATE EXTRACTED]
Fourth: [SOUL PACTED]
Fifth: [GUITAR SOLO]

Tenets of The Serpent – Alternate

Third: [CLAVATE EXTRACTED]

Tenets of Cat

First: Plagiarism Saves Time
Second: There's Nothing Like A Nice Stroke!
Third: Shhhhhh! Nap Time!

Tenets of Life, The Universe And Everything

First: 42

Tenets of Cthulhu

First: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Tenets of Waspor

First: WASPOR
Second: WASPOOOR
Third: WASPOOOOOR
Fourth: (weavor)
Fifth: WASPOOOOOOOR

Tenets of Aquarion

First: An EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENFiNATE amount of cake can be made.; Do not use rumour mills. They grind truth into tiny little pieces to make it explode, and fuck with the stability of the universe.

Tenets of The Jagtress

First: Chains bind the body, Bondage makes me money
Second: Monkeys steal this money and use it to buy guns and bananas

Tents of The Weaver

First: A brightly-coloured wigwam.

Tents of The Merchant

First: One of those pavilions with a picture of a cup glued to it.

Tents of The Huntress

First: The black, soundproofed one out back they don't want you to see.

Tents of The Smith

First: Open-topped, slightly singed.

Tents of The Teacher

First: the one with open walls, full of chairs.

Tents of The Coyote

First: One of those rickety ones that look like they'll blow away in a stiff breeze

Tents of The Ant

First: A palisade

Tents of The Jaguar

First: The Chamber of Delights

Tents of The Baslisk

First: One of those impressive army ones from PD with many lesser tents leading off it

Tents of Serpent

First: A tent... within someone elses tent.

Tents of The Rat

First: Arghaghaghaghagh! It's not even a god! Set their tent on fire! (IC only, of course)

Tenets of Jagtress

First: Yes!
Second: "If you get it wrong you will be punished... but you will enjoy it"
Third: "Regret nothing".

Tents of Coyote

First: ALWAYS ON FIRE

Tents of The Midwife

First: covered in blood, but in a good way.
Second: a little green tepee, off in the hedge where no-one's bothered to look

Tents of Basilisk

First: BIGGER THAN YOURS, MOTHERFUCKER

Tenets of Madagascar

First: SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.

Tenets of Anonymous

First: We are Anonymous
Second: We are Legion
Third: We do not Forget
Fourth: We do not Forgive
Fifth: Expect Us

Tenets of The Assassin's Creed

First: Stay your blade from the flesh of the Innocent
Second: Hide in plain sight: Let the people mask you such that you become one with the crowd
Third: Never compromise the Brotherhood
Fourth: Desynchronising....
Zeroth: Nothing is true; Everything is permitted

Tenets of Coops

First: I'm only joking!

Tenets of Daxx

First: Daxx bides.
Second: Daxx smells
Third: I've got a friend in Jesus(college)
Fourth: Energy, Energy EVERYWHERE
Thrid: Ojpaper

Tenants of The Smith

First: the Hierophant

Tenets of Constance

First: 1. Stab them
Second: 2. In the face
Third: 3. Get him lads he's down
Fourth: 4. Kick him inna fork
Fifth: 5. While their backs are turend

Tenets of Caillen

First: Work hard, Play harder
Second: Threats to Fiona Marshall must be faced and eliminated